Minecraft: Diary of a Minecraft Zombie Book 5: School Daze (An Unofficial Minecraft Book) Read online

  Wow, summer vacation here I come!

  Monday

  I told Steve about my plans for the science fair and he was all in.

  “So, I’m going to stick some electrodes to your forehead and neck. Then, I’m going to throw a switch, and you’re going to come to life.” I said.

  “You mean like Frankenstein?” Steve asked.

  “Franken-who?”

  “Frankenstein…You know. The mad-scientist that collected body parts and sowed them together. Then he shocked the body full of lightning and it came to life.” Steve said.

  “Never heard of him.” I said. “But, anyway, the science fair is on Wednesday. You just have to meet me before school, outside of the gym and I’ll let you in through the back. Got it?”

  “Got it.” Steve said.

  This idea is sure to give me a flunking grade.

  Then I’ll be free from my trip to “prison” camp, and I’ll be able to enjoy my summer.

  This really was a great idea, I thought.

  Wow, I never thought I was that smart.

  Yeah me…

  Tuesday

  Today, Creepy was telling me all about how excited he was about going to camp.

  He told me that they were going to have a big talent show this year, and he was going to be a part of a band.

  “I didn’t know you could play an instrument.” I said to Creepy.

  “Yeah, I play a mean set of drums.” Creepy said.

  Now, I was going to ask him how he plays drums without arms…But I think some things are best left alone.

  I told the guys my idea for the science fair.

  “Whoa, that’s really cool.” They said.

  The guys aren’t very smart, so if they liked it, I’m sure that the teacher is going to hate my idea and flunk me.

  Later, at home, I prepared my machine with electrodes and everything.

  I took the extra car battery from the garage and connected it. It started sparking and making noise.

  “MUAHAHAHAHA!!!” I said real loud.

  I thought I might as well act the part and make it look real.

  So, I was all set.

  When I came down to dinner, my Mom and Dad asked me about the science fair.

  “What are you going to do for your project this year?” Dad said. “I hope you’re not entering your booger collection again. I’m sorry buddy, but a booger collection is not exactly science fair material. Especially since everyone has one.”

  “Don’t worry, Dad. This year I went all out.” I said. “My project is going to be a real winner.”

  “Honey, I’m so proud of you.” Mom said. “And, if you win, we were thinking of giving you an extra week of camp as a reward.”

  “Yeah!” I said, knowing full well I was going to flunk miserably, and spend my summer playing video games and eating tons of cake.

  Wednesday

  They said that a famous Zombie was visiting the school and was going to judge the science fair this year.

  That’s great, I thought. Now I know I’ll definitely fail.

  So I got everything ready, and I let Steve in through the back of the gym.

  I had Steve lie down on a table and I put a blanket over him.

  Then I rolled him out next to my electrode machine.

  The famous visiting Zombie was really tall. Almost as tall as my friend Mutant.

  He went around with the science teacher, judging all of the other science fair projects.

  He didn’t look too impressed though.

  “Great, then he’ll really hate mine,” I thought.

  My experiment was the last one to get judged.

  So when the famous Zombie and the science teacher came to my table, I got into character…

  “MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!” I said, “Now I will bring this human back to life. MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!”

  I threw the switch and all of the lights went out in the gym.

  My electrode machine was shooting sparks and lighting up the whole gym.

  “RISE, MY CREATURE! RISE!”

  Suddenly, Steve sat up from the table.

  “IT’S ALIVE! IT’S ALLLIIIIIIIIVE!”

  Steve stands up and he stretches his arms out like a Zombie and says, “UUURRGGHH!!!”

  All of a sudden, the mob kids start running and screaming out of the gym. “IT’S A HUMAN!” they screamed, as Steve chased after them.

  “Man, it’s working,” I thought. “This is a disaster. I’m going to flunk this class for sure.”

  “MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!”

  All of a sudden, the lights come back on.

  The visiting famous Zombie was standing right in front of me…

  As he’s staring at me, he does the weirdest thing ever.

  He raises his big hand, and wipes a tear from his eye.

  “That was the most amazing thing I have ever seen!” He said. Then he ran out of the gym sobbing.

  My science teacher came over to me and said, “Congratulations Zombie. That was the most authentic reenactment of the creation of Frankenstein that I have ever seen. But how did you know that Frankenstein was going to visit today? I only heard about it this morning…”

  I just looked at him…Confused.

  Then I dreaded what he was going to say next.

  “Everyone, Everyone! The winner of this year’s science fair, for outstanding creativity, authenticity and imagination goes to Zack Zombie, for his project – The Rise of Frankenstein!”

  Everybody in the gym started applauding and cheering.

  “How do you feel, son?” My science teacher asked me.

  “Great,” I said, as I thought about my parent’s adding another week to my summer prison camp sentence…

  Thursday

  My parents took me to “The Woking Dead” Chinese restaurant to celebrate me winning the science fair.

  “We’re so proud of you, son,” Dad said. “You’re a chip off the old block.”

  “Maybe he can work with you at the Nuclear Waste Plant for the summer,” Mom said. “That way he’ll be able to develop his scientific talent.”

  I just tried to bury my sorrow in my Zombie egg roll.

  “So, son,” Dad said. “I just put another non-refundable deposit for another week at camp for you. I don’t know how we’re going to afford it. But you’re worth it.”

  “Maybe we should send him to science camp too, this summer,” Mom said.

  I threw up my egg roll.

  “Wow, look how excited he is,” Mom said.

  Friday

  The good thing that came from winning the science fair is that Mom and Dad let me go to a sleepover at Skelee’s house to celebrate.

  So me, Slimey and Creepy went over to Skelee’s house for a sleepover movie night.

  All of the guys congratulated me on my science fair win.

  Then Creepy started talking more about how great it is that I’m going an extra week to camp.

  “There’s going to be a competition against the camp next to us.” Creepy said. “We’ve lost every year since I’ve been there. “But with your science skills I think we can really beat them this year.”

  “Guys, I don’t want to talk about it anymore,” I said. “What movie are we watching tonight, anyway?”

  “Creepaway Camp 3: Terror in the Woods,” Skelee said. “I heard it was really good.”

  Oh brother…

  Saturday

  I went back to Steve to ask more advice about how to get out of camp.

  “Congratulations on your win,” Steve said sarcastically.

  I just looked at him, depressed.

  “Now what am I going to do?” I said. “My Mom and Dad are now going to give me two weeks at camp, and I don’t know what to do.”

  “Don’t worry. You still have plenty of time to mess things up,” Steve said. “Don’t you have any big exams coming up soon?”

  “Yeah! I have a big scare exam on Monday. Hey, if I mess that up, then my parents will ground me for sure,” I said.

/>   “But the only problem is that the exam is going to be graded on how well we can scare villagers. And villagers are real easy to scare.” They’re scared of everything,” I said.

  “Well, if you make them laugh, then there’s no way they can be scared,” Steve said.

  Wow. Steve is a genius. Where does he come up with this stuff?

  “That’s a great idea. But I’m going to have to come up with something to make them laugh,” I said.

  “I’ve got a great routine for you,” Steve said. “Every time I do it, it always makes my friends laugh.”

  “Thanks, Steve. I really appreciate it.”

  So Steve showed me his routine and we practiced it for a few hours.

  Man, I can’t wait to do this routine on my scare test on Monday.

  I’m going to have those villagers in stitches.

  Summer vacation, here I come!

  Sunday

  Today I spent the whole day practicing the comedy routine at home in front of a mirror.

  I never thought of myself as a comedian.

  I tried to tell a joke once…

  It went like this…

  “Why was the Zombie afraid to cross the road?

  Because he lost his guts!”

  I love that joke!

  But I don’t know why, but every time I tell it, nobody laughs.

  But I know since Steve came up with the routine, it’s got to be funny.

  The good thing is that there’s not a lot of talking in this routine, just silly movements.

  And I could tell while practicing in the mirror, that it’s going to be really funny.

  I can’t wait to try it on the villagers tomorrow.

  Monday

  I woke up late today, so I had to rush out of bed and head out straight to school.

  I didn’t even get a chance to eat breakfast.

  I didn’t care because I was just so excited to mess up my scare exam, and get my life back this summer.

  I just made it to Ms. Bones Scare class when she said, “Kids, remember, this exam will count toward 50% of your grade. So make sure you give it your all when you go out and scare those villagers today.”

  “Not me,” I thought. “I’m going to get those villagers laughing so hard, they won’t be scared at all.”

  When we got to the village, all the other kids picked a villager to scare.

  And the other kids did really well.

  But now it was my turn.

  I picked a villager that I saw picking crops.

  Steve also gave me some music to with the routine, so I turned on the boom box and I jumped out of the bushes.

  “Everybody Dance Now!”

  I started doing my routine, and it was good!

  I was all up into my routine, when more and more villagers started gathered around me.

  I was really getting into it.

  Soon, the entire village was gathered around me, and they were into it too.

  “Hey guys, check out what Zombie is doing!” One of the mob kids said.

  Then all of the mob kids jumped out of the bushes at once.

  All of a sudden, the entire village went crazy and the villagers started running and screaming.

  “It’s the Zombie Apocalypse!” A villager yelled.

  “AAAAHHHH!!!” was all I heard, as all of the villagers scattered to their homes.

  Ms. Bones was shocked.

  “You scared the entire village all at once!” She said. “That was the most amazing thing I have ever seen!”

  Then she said, “You get an A plus for your scare test, and for the class. Congratulations, Zombie!”

  Man, I really hate my life…

  Tuesday

  Today my parents took me to the “Drool and Gruel” diner to celebrate getting an A+ on my Scare exam.

  “Son, you never stop surprising us,” Dad said. “We talked to your teacher and she said that your reenactment of the Zombie Apocalypse was the best thing she had ever seen. You scared every villager in that town.”

  “Thanks Dad,” I said as I buried my sorrow in a Drool Shake.

  “Honey, tell him the surprise,” Mom said.

  “What surprise?”

  “Well son, Ms. Bones was so impressed with your work that she spoke to the Principal. And the Principal agreed to sponsor you for an extra week of Camp as a reward. Isn’t that amazing?!!”

  I threw up my Drool shake.

  “Look how excited he is Honey, he can’t even keep his Drool shake down,” Mom said.

  Life is so unfair…

  Wednesday

  Well, even though it’s been a crazy few days, the one cool thing is that yearbooks come out today.

  Man, I can’t wait!

  I’ve been looking forward to seeing my yearbook picture since we took our pictures.

  I bet I’m going to look real good, too.

  Maybe, I’ll even look like an 8th grader!

  I’m going to get everybody to sign my yearbook too.

  They’re probably going to write something like “The coolest Zombie in school,” Or, “The Zombie most likely to succeed.” Or something cool like that.

  Mom said that yearbook pictures are great because it’s a way that people can remember you for the rest of your life.

  When she pulls out her yearbook I can tell it brings back really great memories for her…Even though it was a really, really, really long time ago.

  Dad told me not to get my hopes up too high, though.

  I think it’s because my Dad’s yearbook picture looks like he was one of the nerdiest kids in school.

  “Your yearbook pictures are only a snapshot of a very short period of your life,” He says. “You always outgrow those pictures anyway.”

  I don’t know how much I believe that last thing he said.

  Under his yearbook picture it said, “The most likely to work in a Nuclear Waste Plant.”

  I think I’m going to get extra pictures made to give out to people.

  I’m going to get some for grandma…

  I’m going to get a few for Sally…

  And I’ll probably need a few for my photo spread in ZQ magazine…

  Thursday

  OMZ!

  My life is officially over.

  As soon as I opened my yearbook I saw my picture…

  I couldn’t believe it…

  I looked terrible!

  My picture was so awful, that all the kids in school were laughing at me when I walked down the hallway.

  When I wasn’t paying attention, somebody wrote in my yearbook, “The Zombie most likely to be mistaken for a human.”

  Somebody else wrote, “The Zombie most likely to work at the Chum Bucket.”

  And somebody even wrote “The Zombie most likely to host American Idol.”

  When I got to class, Ms. Bones had all of the yearbook pictures scanned on her laptop.

  So she had a giant picture of somebody in the class projected on the screen every few seconds, with a speech bubble asking the class a question.

  When my picture came up, the question next to it said, “How scary am I?”

  All of the mob kids burst out laughing.

  It was the most embarrassing day ever…

  Friday

  I went to see Steve today.

  Even though being a Scare school Zombie kid is really tough, it’s really great to have a friend like Steve I can talk to.

  “What’s the matter Zombie?” Steve said. “You look really blue.”

  “Really? I’m usually a nice shade of green.”

  “No, I mean you look really sad.” Steve said.

  “Yeah, this is going to be the worst summer ever!” I said. “Not only are my parents going to send me to camp for three weeks, but I got my yearbook pictures back and they’re the worst ever!”

  “Really? Let me see.” He said.

  I gave him my yearbook and he took a look at it.

  Then he burst out laughing.

  “It’s not
funny you know,” I said.

  “Sorry. I didn’t mean to laugh. It’s just that you look like a really famous person from where I’m from.” Steve said.

  “Really? He looks like that and he’s famous?”

  “Yeah, he’s really popular too,” He said. “But you’re lucky. At least it’s not as bad as my picture.”

  Steve showed me his yearbook picture.

  “Whoa.”

  “Yeah, I like to make funny faces for my yearbook pictures,” He said. “I just figured that if I can laugh at myself, then I really don’t care if other people laugh at me either.”

  “But don’t you care that this is the way people are going to be remember you for the rest of your life?” I said.

  “My real friends are going to remember me for more than my dumb yearbook picture,” He said.

  “Yeah, I guess you’re right…You know, now that I look at it, my yearbook picture is kind of funny,” I said.

  And we both started laughing.

  Man, every time I talk to Steve, I always feel better.

  I don’t know how I would’ve been able to get through my Zombie middle school life without a friend like him.

  I just wish he could help me find a way out of going to camp…

  Saturday

  I had a “day-mare” today that my parents abandoned me at camp.

  I walked into a room where some mob kids were quietly making some lanyards, and macaroni pictures.

  All of a sudden, the kids grabbed me and wrapped the lanyards around my neck.